I've decided to keep a seperate journal for my poetry/prose stuff.

I can be found hashing it out over the keys here: [livejournal.com profile] schoner_kummer

~Sichy out...
She's gone to bed
She's out to sea
What lurks beyond
What lies beneath
Folding back the blanket
My soul is climbing in
Now pour me out and stir me up
Lock me in your box
Away from the world
Close to the girl
That lives inside
Lifetimes pass
The smoke grows thick
Fading out the background
Feeling slightly charmed
Falling faster
Through this maze
Opens up beneath me
Light fades up above
Another chapter
Written wrong
On paper napkins
By 3am ramblings
Scattered and torn
Blown away by the light
The story's gone
That little girl
She knows tomorrow
But is stuck today
Inside a clock
That ticks away
No need to understand, my love
No need to say a word
Just lock me up inside this box
And smoke the world away
She flitters through
Wakes me up
The stone is warm
Reaching ever higher
For something that will never be
A world that don't exist
But in our box
It lives and breathes
The real world fades away

© Sichernde Seele
August 2005
HIgh as a kite
Try as I might
I just can't make it all come clear
The signal's hazy
My soul grown lazy
Content to live in simpler times

Where did you go today
When you drove away
Did the anger fade as the miles passed by?
What time is it there
Is the moon rising there
High in the sky, just like me

Watching from above
Dying from below
Crying cause I'm happy
Laughing when I'm sad
Brighter days are here again
Tainted with your memory
Frozen in your touch

Thawing now
Losing ground
Fading backwards
Hazing out
You're here and gone
I'm high and numb
Time's marched on
We're both long gone

© Sichernde Seele
August 2005
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Today was the first day of school. The first day of Morgan's last year of Elementary. The beginning of second grade for Max. And the beginning of another wonderful year of learning for Madison, too.

They grow up so damn fast. I have searched the hard drive over for the pictures from last year. I dunno where the heck they are. Maybe on an inactive drive. *shrug*

So instead of the compare and contrast, I'll just share this years Back to School (timetopullmyhairout) pictures.

First day )
Jason Mraz gave this gem of a lyric to me today....

I'm getting over all the comments...
I'm feeling statements made by people are nonsense
I'm getting stronger by the minute...

Yep. Pretty much.

Work was hectic. Has been a lot lately. But it isn't too bad. Just busy enough to keep the time passing. :)

Kids start school on Thursday. I'm so ill prepared for that. The kids are excited and ready. I'm not looking forward to doing another round with the school system as "Mom of Autism Boy". I guess the hardest part is that for a short time, he appears like the most normal and well-adjusted little boy anywhere. Then we have weekends like this last one. Where too much stimulation just shorted him out. Total meltdown. Poor kid. We were doing craft stuff all day Saturday. And he was loving it, but I could tell he was getting a little too much input.

When he starts snacking incessantly, it's usually because his brain is all over the map and he's got to feed it. If that makes any sense.

Anyhow...Another teacher to teach the World According to Max.

Been caught in certain music lately. Jason Mraz is my new hero. I broke my guitar and need to fix it so I can play some of this shit. I liked Mr. A-Z before now, but now I'm totally addicted.

On the flip side we have the classic Broadway standby and throw in a bit of Barenaked Ladies. Will you be my Yoko Ono??? Please? You know you wanna!

Okay. Bed. Early morning. Long day. Thank god I'm off Thursday.


Aug. 7th, 2005 10:51 pm
Lots and lots of pictures. I've been workin on ideas for a table and was working with photo editting to see if I could kinda outline what I'm trying for. Anyhow, I ended up getting sucked into Paint Shop for several hours.

Lots of pictures. Some really big. )
Started taking a bunch of pictures again. Here's some product of my shutterbugging....

Pics And Stuff )
When you go digging for information...and you're really not expecting to find it. But you do. And there it is. Staring you in the face.

It's a can of worms I don't want to open at this point.

I now know my son's full name. The son I gave up almost 14 years ago. Wow.

No, there's no question. I'd known his first name and his sister's first name. Found the birth records for 1991. Found the name and birth date. Went back 2 years and found his sisters name. Same surname. Couldn't really be coincidence I don't think.

Anyhow. There it is. I'm doing nothing with it. Not now.

But jesus it caught me by surprise.
Incoherant Babbling )

Where am I going?
Where have I been?
Too many questions
I haven't the time
To stop and listen
To the words of my rhyme
It's all just gibberish anyway.
Here I sit. Listening to music. Lots of which I haven't listened to in years. I seem to be revisiting things like Concrete Blonde and Cowboy Junkies and the like.

So whilst I listen, I suspect it's only fair to vent my spleen a bit.

Freeform...no stopping )

Say what?

Jul. 8th, 2005 07:53 am
I am so amused.

I was just waking up. Barely had my eyes open. Max was messing with the TV and one of the channels had a commercial for the Craftmatic Adjustable Bed. It said....

"A Lifetime of Temporary Relief..."

Hah! Hahaha! *snort*

Yeah, it's too early.
Allan's story was brought to my attention by [livejournal.com profile] marian333. He has cystic fibrosis and Medicaid is denying him the funds to pay for the operation based on the fact that the procedure is life threatening.

Allan's story can be found here----> Save Allan

I've contacted media here locally in Baton Rouge. I'd request you contact your local media as well. The more the word gets out, the better the chances are that Allan can live a long happy life with his true love.

I opened up my CD case yesterday and re-discovered a CD I hadn't listened to in years! Soul Asylum ~ Grave Dancer's Union. I'd forgotten how much I liked that one. This reminded me that I also want to replace my Live ~ Throwing Copper CD. It's been a while since I heard that one, too. Too long.

Dreams & Things )


Working a little late today for one of the guys in the office who had something to do. He'll be in about 4. Then it's just me and Max and I'm off work till Tuesday morning. Thinking we may go hang out with the Dago and Keith and let Max and A. play or Gio mentioned maybe going out on the river. It'll be nice to have some just me and Max time on a holiday weekend.

Monday night, I plan on getting some sparklers and maybe a few small fireworks and having Logan and C & W over to watch the neighbors do fireworks over the lake. It's usually a nice little show.

I refuse to fight the downtown traffic and spend the evening out in the heat, crowds and parking disaster that is the levee on the 4th, so this way, C has air conditioning nearby and we can have ice cream and do sparklers and have a nice time. :)


Jun. 30th, 2005 01:58 pm
YAY! *dance* *sing*

Now, I know my little diva still wants to go to New York, and go to New York we will...but I can't pass this up!


So, we'll go see this in Houston and then maybe go see something else in New York.

My baby WILL go to Broadway. But with Idina and Kristen no longer in the show, I'm not quite as motivated to go to New York just for Wicked.

Thank you for finding this Logan!!! The girls are going to love it!

 Take the MIT Weblog Survey
It's called insanity. And I'm feeling rather in it's grips at the moment. *shrug*

Unfortunately, I haven't had much time to write lately. Work has been crazy lately and I've, quite frankly, been avoiding the computer, the TV and the telephone.

Fuck it. I'm just flat out anti-social recently.

When I get it all sorted out, or at least have time to even *think* about sorting it out, I'll probably have my usual rash of spam in my LJ.

In the last few weeks, I've flip-flopped a lot on how I feel about this place. Not so much livejournal, but MY livejournal.

I go back and read my writing and wonder if I could ever be mistaken for sane. Up, down, sideways. Am I really nuts? Why do I change my mind so much? Is the fact that I am doing all this exploring and changing a good thing? A bad thing? A step in SOME direction?

I know I've changed and grown by leaps and bounds, so why do I feel like I've suddenly backslid into some pit? I mean, really.

For the moment, and I can't promise that I won't feel differently tomorrow...but for the moment, I've unprivatized all of my entries. Not even friends only. The only exceptions are the rare totally private entry and a few entries that have pictures of children belonging to other people. Aside from that, it's open season.

You know, I can't really decide if the SCA has ever done anything good for me or not. So much fucking bullshit has come out of it.

Ancient History )
A distraction.
Sharing some pictures of the kids from Halloween and New Years. 

Halloween always poses certain challenges.  I don't like store bought costumes.  And the really cute costumes that I *would* buy usually cost an arm and a leg.  So I tend to just do it myself.  Last Halloween we had the Good Witch and the Ghost Pirate.  The only thing I bought was Morgan's hat.  I found it in New Orleans that weekend and I loved it. 

Pictures Ahead )
I now have to find out if Max is 48 inches tall. I think he is shy by 2 inches. This nixes my birthday party idea. Looks like we may end up at Don Carter's instead.

Until I can get an accurate measurement, the place I wanted to have his party is: http://www.ltofbr.com/index.html

I really hope he's tall enough.  He'd love it.

Time for training!!!
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